Clap Your Hands, All You Children

deeply, slowly.

2011-01-16T09:45:00.000-08:00

how deep the father's love for us,
how vast beyond all measure
that he would give his only son
to make a wretch his treasure.

how great the pain of searing loss,
the father turns his face away.
as wounds which mar the chosen one
bring many sons to glory.

it was my sin that held him there
until it was accomplished.
his dying breath has brought me life,
i know that it is finished.

i will not boast in anything;
no gifts, no power, no wisdom.
but i will boast in Jesus Christ,
his death and resurrection.

Shad and Dallas Green

2011-01-12T18:00:00.000-08:00

someday...

2011-01-10T23:28:00.000-08:00

..i want to do this with my wife.

curveballs.

2011-01-10T23:08:00.000-08:00

its so easy to make plans and assume that they will be realized. to bank on something and plan on things going off without a hitch. when things are easy in life, we expect them to continue to be. or at least i do.

something i've been learning is how we are not in control of this life. we often will put things in place to maintain a sense of control but those things are frail and can vanish in a moment. when we put those things in our lives, its all too easy to begin feeling independent. no need for God, no need for his grace, no need for his involvement.

i am reminded today that i am not in control of this life. things can come up unexpectedly and catch us off guard, totally relient on God for our next steps. and i think that is right where He wants us.

(trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean NOT on your own understanding. in all your ways, acknowledge him and he will make your path straight. proverbs.3.5-6)

called.

2011-01-07T19:14:00.000-08:00

i was created by God, but i ain't wanna be like him, i wanna be him.

the jack sparrow of my caribbean.

i remember the first created being,

and how he shifted the blame on his dame

for fruit he shouldn't have eaten.

and now look at us all out of Eden,

wearing designer fig leaves make believin.

but God sees through my foolish pride,

and how i'm weak like Adam, another victim of lucifer's lies,

But then in steps Jesus,

All men were created to lead but we needed some one to lead us,

more than a teacher, but somebody to buy us back from the darkness,

you can say he redeemed us, taught us that real leaders follow God,

finish the work cuz we on our job.

Taught us not to rob, but give life,

love a wife like Christ loves the church,

without seeing how many hearts we can break first.

I wanna be like you in everyway, so if I gotta die every day,

unworthy sacrifice,

but the least i can do is give the most of me,

because being like you is what i'm supposed to be.

they say you came for the lame, i'm the lamest. i made a mess but you say you'll erase it. i'll take it.

they say you came for the lame, i'm the lamest. i broke my life but you say you'll replace it. i'll take it.

-lecrae Just Like You

always refreshing

2011-01-07T16:21:00.000-08:00

this. i love it.

the rock.

2011-01-06T20:58:00.000-08:00

Rock of ages, cleft for me, let me hide myself in thee; let the water and the blood, from thy wounded side which flowed, be of sin the double cure, save from wrath and make me pure.
Not the labors of my hands, can fulfill thy laws commands; could my zeal no respite know, could my tears forever flow, all for sin could not atone; thou must save, and thou alone.
Nothing in my hand I bring, simply to the cross I cling; naked, come to thee for dress; helpless, look to thee for grace; foul, I to thy mountain fly; wash me savior, or I die.
While I draw this fleeting breath, when mine eyes shall close in death, when I soar to worlds unknown, see thee on thy judgement throne, Rock of Ages, cleft for me, let me hide myself in thee.

(Rock of Ages)

Psalm 18:2 The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer, my God, in whom I trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.

a real struggle

2011-01-05T22:00:00.000-08:00

'don't let your feeelings dictate your faith, let your faith dictate your feelings.'

a friend posted this and even though it is short, it speaks volumes to me. hopefully to you too.

Brett Dennen-Make You Crazy Video (official version)

2011-01-04T09:38:00.000-08:00

if you haven't heard of brett dennen, now you have.
check him out; lot of fun to listen to.

2011-01-03T23:37:00.000-08:00

Don't copy the behaviors and customs of this world but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will begin to know God's will for you-his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Romans 12.2

Thinking through this in these next weeks.

SHAD

2011-01-01T19:27:00.000-08:00

i was introduced to this guy a while back and i love it. name's shadrach kabango, from london, canada. speaks french and english and raps a mix of both. he's gotten some recognition from different secular critics but lives his christian faith out through his music. give him a listen and enjoy.

close shav[ed]

2010-12-24T14:18:00.000-08:00

tried growing out a bear dor the first time these past three months or so. i liked it and i'm going to do it again, but needed a break from it. evidence below. (and yes there's a stache leftover. thought i'd have some fun with it)

before:>

after:

quoted

2010-12-18T14:57:00.001-08:00

Faith is a living, bold trust in God's grace, so certain of God's favour that it would risk death a thousand times trusting in it...Because of it, you freely, willingly and joyfully do good to everyone, serve everyone, suffer all kinds of things, love and praise the God who has shown you such grace.
-Martin Luther

finals week playlist

2010-12-16T13:02:00.000-08:00

this is a list of all the music i listened to over finals week. i put my itunes on shuffle and played through the album of whatever artist came up. quite an interesting experience.

Paramore: all we know is falling
Maylene and the Sons of Disaster : Maylene and the Sons of Disaster
John Legend and the Roots: Wake up!
Mae: The Everglow
Holding Onto Hope: To the Sea
Jonsi: Go Do
Mumford and Sons: Sigh No More
William Fitzsimmons: The Sparrow and the Crow
Frightened Rabbit: The Midnight Organ Fight
Owl City: Ocean Eyes
Incubus: Morning View
Acceptance: Phantoms
A Day to Remember: Homesick
Waking Ashland: Composure
Oh, Sleeper!: When I am God
Dashboard Confessional: A Mark, A Mission, A Brand, A Scar
Dead Poetic: New Medicines
This Will Destroy You: Young Mountain EP
Shawn McDonald: Simply Nothing
Joshua Radin: We Were Here
Ascend the Hill: Take the World but Give me Jesus
The Fold: This Too Shall Pass
Taylor Swift: Fearless (heck yea)
Imogen Heap: Speak for Yourself

live and learn?

2010-12-15T08:21:00.001-08:00

"therefore dear brothers, in view of God's mercy, I urge you to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God. This is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your minds. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing, and perfect will." Romans 12.1-2

active offering v. passive counters

A Generation of Men Raised by Women

2010-12-14T19:09:00.000-08:00

i found this article and it was great. Something that resonates with me; specifically the part about how religion has left men alone. I hope that this changes for the better. Really resonates and I hope you enjoy it.

A Generation of Men Raised by Women

finals week

2010-12-12T20:12:00.000-08:00

i'm going to make a running list of all the albums i go through as i study. so far i'm on number nine. i'll post the final list once the week is over. gotta love this week

quoted

2010-12-12T10:31:00.000-08:00

"Take courage; offer him your pains incessantly; pray to him for strength to endure them. Above all, get a habit of entertaining yourself often with God, and forget him the least you can. Adore him in your infirmities, offer yourself to him from time to time, and in the height of your sufferings, beseech him humbly and affectionately (as a child his father) to make you comfortable in his will."

Brother Lawrence

thoughts

2010-12-06T00:31:00.001-08:00

All your wishes and hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals. And the first job each morning consists simply in shoving them all back; in listening to that other voice, taking that other point of view, letting that other larger, stronger, quieter life come flowing in

C.S. Lewis

thoughts from homework

2010-12-05T10:32:00.000-08:00

i've been working on reading for my theology class and this popped out at me when going through a chapter on conversion. i'm going to need a gut check on this.

"It is important to realize that mere sorrow for one's actions, or even deep remorse over one's actions, does not constitute genunie repentance unless it is accompanied by a sincere decision to forsake sin that is being committed against God...A worldly sort of grief may involve great sorrow for one's actions and probably also fear of punishment but no genuine renouncing of sin or commitment to forsake it in one's life."

"It is also contrary to the New Testament to speak about the possibility of someone accepting Christ "as Savior" but not "as Lord," if that means simply depending on him for salvation but not committing oneself to forsake sin and to be obedient to Christ from that point on."

-Wayne Grudem, Systematic Theology.

awake my soul

2010-11-27T23:10:00.000-08:00

thoughts and truth from the band mumford and sons. if you haven't heard of them, give them a listen.
awake my soul: mumford and sons

How fickle my heart and how woozy my eyes
I struggle to find any truth in your lies
And now my heart stumbles on things I don't know
This weakness I feel I must finally show

Lend me your hand and we'll conquer them all
But lend me your heart and I'll just let you fall
Lend me your eyes I can change what you see
But your soul you must keep, totally free

In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die
Where you invest your love, you invest your life
In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die
Where you invest your love, you invest your life

Awake my soul, awake my soul
Awake my soul
You were made to meet your maker
Awake my soul, awake my soul
Awake my soul
You were made to meet your maker
You were made to meet your maker

Silence is Deadly

2010-11-27T20:42:00.000-08:00

2010-11-27T00:31:00.001-08:00

teach me to love. enemies, or those that i just don't want to love

thankful

2010-11-25T23:15:00.000-08:00

home. it feels good to be here. having family around me again puts me at ease. being away from school causes me to breathe easier and somehow slow down.

thanksgiving is a time for that very thing. slowing down to take notice of the good things around me. to see the things in my life that i enjoy and to be grateful for those.

i enjoy the warmth of the sun on my face. i enjoy the way leaves take on warm colors as fall begins to get colder. i enjoy the grass right after its been cut; both the way it looks and how it smells. i enjoy those ten minutes before sundown, when the setting sun throws pink, purple and orange across the clouds. i enjoy the mountains after it rains. they are capped in white and seem close enough to touch.

i enjoy warmth and genuineness from others, those ones who just put a smile on my face. i enjoy the times of deep conversation that happen without effort. i enjoy hearing wisdom and affirmation from those i look up to. i enjoy doing things with others that we share a common love for.

i enjoy seeing the way God moves in other people. i enjoy a love that is unconditional, one that i know hardly a piece of and yet it still fills me. i enjoy the fact that God designed me unique from all other human beings, that i have a purpose just as unique and that He wants a relationship with me. i enjoy the fact that i can always look to Him in uncertainty, to talk to, knowing He knows what's really going on inside of me.

"God, the LORD, created the heavens ands stretched them out. He created the earth and everything in it. He gives breath to everyone, life to everyone who walks the earth. And it is he who says 'I the Lord have called you to demonstrate my righteousness...' " Isaiah 42.5

Lewis' Screwtape

2010-11-22T11:10:00.000-08:00

This book, in case you haven't read it, is a hypothetical conversation between two demons, Screwtape and his nephew Wormwood. It is a conversation about the temptation and projected demise of a fictional man. This excerpt is Screwtape talking to his nephew about what humans are in their eyes.

"To us a human is primarily food; our aim is the absorption of its will into ours, the increase of our own area of selfhood at its expense. But the obedience which the Enemy demands [ the Enemy=God in this context] of men is quite a different thing. One must face the fact that all the talk about His love for men, and His service being perfect freedom, is not, (as one would gladly believe) mere propaganda, but an appalling truth. He really does want to fill the universe with a lot of loathsome little replicas of Himself..We want cattle who can finally become food; He wants servants who can finally become sons. We want to suck in, He wants to give out. We are empty and would be filled; He is full and flows over.?

i second that.

2010-11-21T10:32:00.000-08:00

this is something that someone i look up to wrote. it resonates with me; i admire this dream and i think that this is what men ought to be more like.

I want to be a strong man. I want a wife and a family and I want to love them well. I want a life marked by sacrifice and simplicity. I want to be a man who returns calls and leaves his door unlocked. I want to take my family for breakfast after church.

I want a house that smells like coffee and food and warmth and I want it always full of people. I want to live in community with my friends and their families; we’ll raise each other’s kids, paying special attention to our own. I want to keep tradition; nutcrackers at Christmas. I want to drink champagne with my wife on New Year’s Eve and play football the morning after. I want an old car that I drive on Sundays and I want kids who know who they are.

I want to work hard and do well. I want to communicate and build relationships and I want to buy the first round. I want to laugh honestly and breathe easy and I want to be an agent of hope. I want to live in love and let the world know why.

And I want God’s feet to mark the center, his proud arms holding the weight of all that life.

I guess that’s what I want when I grow up.

sight

2010-11-18T22:22:00.000-08:00

give me your eyes. let me see deep. teach me to look further. longer. slower. to see them.

quoted

2010-11-14T14:09:00.000-08:00

"Idolatry is a mistake about reality..It arises from the crying need of human beings to gain control over their lives. That need is understandable, of course, and it must be met in some way. But idolatry tries to meet the need by assigning powers to an object of human imagination and artifice, powers that object does not actually posess..."

Dallas Willard: Knowing Christ Today: Why we can trust Spiritual Knowledge

Love Came Down

2010-11-14T09:55:00.000-08:00

truth in the words of this song.

so when do we become adults?

2010-11-11T19:46:00.001-08:00

i'm studying for my developmental psych class tonight and one of the sections of the material is on emerging adulthood. they define this as the period between late teens and mid-to-late twenties when individuals are not adolescents but not fully adults. the authors look to different things in our culture that have been used as a marker for the start of adulthood. here's what they came up with; these things have are what some people think kickstarts adulthood.

college degree.
ability to drink.
ability to vote.
romantic involvement.
child and spouse.
independence from parent.
formation of identity and independence.

i don't think that these exactly hit the mark. i have my own opinions but let me know what you think. what qualifies a person as no longer a young adult? why the period of adolescence?

truth

2010-11-11T10:20:00.000-08:00

"Therefore, brothers, we have an obligation-but it is not to the sinful nature, to live according to it. For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the spirit, you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live because those who live by the spirit of God are sons of God." Romans 8.12-13

divorce statistics explained

2010-11-11T09:50:00.000-08:00

interesting explanation as to why the divorce rate in America is NOT actually fifty percent. check it out.
Divorce Rate: It's not as high as you think

this.

2010-11-10T08:12:00.000-08:00

peace

2010-11-08T08:29:00.001-08:00

i remind myself of all that you've done.

and the life i have because of Your son.

[love came down and rescued me. love came down and set me free. i am yours, i am forever yours]

romans 8.38 "And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today or our worries about tomorrow-not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love."

mob mentality and self inventory

2010-11-06T23:01:00.000-07:00

tonight i went to the men's soccer game as they played a post season match against vanguard. it brought out a long of different emotions to say the least. it was quite a game but one of the things that struck me the most was how easily it is to get into things. i wanted to yell insults back. i wanted to tell the crowd they needed to grow up. i wanted to tell the players to play fair and stop acting like babies. i wanted to nag the players right along with the rest of em. and thats just a bit of it.

what does it look like to love your enemy? i couldn't find an answer in the game tonight. one thing i did find was an instance where i had to admit that there was no way to be humble on my own. there was no way to be loving on my own. there was no way to avoid judgement on my own. i remarked that i could not make a habit of going to games like this because of what it was bringing out in me. what gives me the right to feel so much bitterness and anger to people i don't know? what gives me the right to find fault in them and write them off as not worth my time?

God. teach me true humility and love for others. even enemies.

give it a listen

2010-11-03T20:59:00.000-07:00

if any of you are fans of alexi murdoch, city and colour, or joshua radin, then check this guy out.

Greg Laswell: Take a Bow. great album

before the throne of God above.

2010-10-29T09:15:00.000-07:00

allelujah, allelujah. praise the one, risen Son of God.

He is more than i know. He is more than i think i know. He is more than i need. He is exactly what i need.

Father, teach me more of who You are and what i am without You. captivate my heart.

more lewis

2010-10-28T19:55:00.000-07:00

Good beats upon the damned incessantly as sound waves beat on the ears of the deaf, but they cannot receive it. Their fists are clenched, their teeth are clenched, their eyes fast shut. First they will not, in the end they cannot, open their hands for gifts, or their mouth for food, or their eyes to see.

-C.S. Lewis- The Great Divorce

growing and the pains that go with

2010-10-25T00:25:00.000-07:00

have you ever been struck by how you're growing? hit with the fact that you are, in fact, growing older and the years of playing on the jungle gym are growing dim. what is coming closer are things that you never thought much about as a kid, but suddenly are close realities.

these are things that i've been chewing on lately. am i growing into the man that will be a good husband and father to my wife, a good life long friend to my brothers, and a close companion to my family? life is always moving by and sometimes i feel as if i unknowingly close my eyes to it.

father. make me into a man after your heart. show me what that looks like, and lead my heart that way. the rest will follow. i ask that Your grace would become something that is always on my mind. let it enter my heart and change my perspective on those around me. as i work through my days, would you begin to mold me into the man you want me to be. help me to focus on you and the life you offer.

i ask for grace and wisdom beyond measure for my brothers. as they wrestle with these things too, be close. help them to search for your heart in these things. when confusion or emotion or fear prevents them from seeing clearly, give them grace and persistence. bring people that can give advice to them and help them work through these issues.

father. thank you for your presence. that you are real. thank you for your goodness and care for our lives. great is thy faithfulness

grace. and hoping to grow in it

2010-10-20T16:11:00.000-07:00

weekend away

2010-10-17T13:15:00.001-07:00

went away to big bear ca with about half of the guys from emerson this weekend. it was awesome to get away from the business of life and just be still for a while. conversations were had, lives were shared, weaknesses identified, and stories told. God is good and more than i will ever know.

perspective

2010-10-13T10:02:00.000-07:00

i am not my own. i have been made new.

please don't let me go. i desperately need You.

(lead)er

2010-10-12T00:07:00.000-07:00

"the Lord leads with unfailing love and faithfulness all those who keep his covenant and obey his commands." psalm25:10

"the gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep recognize his voice and come to him. he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. after he has gathered his own flock, he walks ahead of them, and they follow him because they know his voice." john10.3-4

friends

2010-10-06T15:08:00.000-07:00

"find a friend and stay close and with a melting heart
tell them whatever you're most ashamed of"-mewithoutYou: The Sun and the Moon

i can't tell you how amazing having deep relationships can be. friends that are there to share life with you, bare their souls with you and bear you up through whatever. this is the stuff legends. i hope that you can find these friends and i pray you keep them close. God will bless you through them.

here in your presence

2010-10-02T10:33:00.001-07:00

1 samuel 5-6.

God moves against the philistines when the ark is captured and placed in their temple.

God sends tumors and rats on the towns that try to keep the ark.

God causes a statue of their god to break apart, simply because of his presence near it.

God directs cows to travel through the land of philistia and make its way to the israeli border

God wipes out seventy israelites because they make an attempt to look into the ark.

1 samuel 6.20: "'Who is able to stand in the presence of YHWH, this Holy God,' they cried out. 'Where can we send the ark from here?'"

(you placed the stars in the sky, and you taught the sun to rise. our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other. who am i that you are mindful of me? that you hear me, when i call?)

retreat

2010-09-29T20:11:00.000-07:00

busyness seems to come so easily in my life. this year especially.

my time seems to be so easily occupied. this is not how a life is supposed to be lived. we were not made to function this way.

i was walking back to my room tonight and gazed up at the clouds and stars, wishing that i could fly and take a long break from the chaotic things in my life. just soar with angels, caught up in the praise of God.

God. i hate being busy. i hate that i take your gift of time and, more often than not, don't manage it well. i ask that you would give grace and mercy and perseverance. i don't want this to be a habit. teach me to live simply and to glorify you in all areas of my life; most of all my time.

"I sought the LORD and he answered me, and delivered me from all my fears...This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him...Oh taste and see that the Lord is good." (pieces of Psalm 119)

Perspective on sin

2010-09-27T16:55:00.000-07:00

"YHWH is the God of life, the source of life, according to Genesis. That is the reason that all the words for 'sin' in the Hebrew Bible also refer, in one way or another, to behaviour which destroys or diminishes life. As the redeemer (the go'el of Job 19.6) YHWH is the one who protects, defends and restores life."

-timothy goringe "Harvest" (reading i have for homework)

identity

2010-09-19T09:20:00.000-07:00

In philosophy, identity is whatever makes an entity definable and recognizable, in terms of possessing a set of qualities or characteristics that distinguish it from other entities.

seems like our world has endless options for identity. think the definition and your life through and tell me what your identity is. (feedback encouraged and/or required)

God

2010-09-15T08:41:00.000-07:00

ever faithful, ever true.

when all else fails, you remain.

great is thy faithfulness.

rock of ages, cleft for me.

God with us.

I AM.

Shedding light on Dark and Light

2010-09-14T10:40:00.000-07:00

so anberlin released their record, Dark is the Way, Light is a Place on the 7th. i love the album and it's only been a week. it has a much more mature sound to it, an obvious nod to the producer, Brendan O'Brian. he's produced albums by big names such as stone temple pilots, pearl jam, rage, incubus, train, springsteen, and ac/dc to name a few.

the guys have all been stretched talent wise and are better for it. the album is one that shows off their creativity and skill, from vocal to lyrical to instrumentation. they have a much bigger, more refined sound.

the album seems to have a theme of distant relationships that are desired to be closer. the theme is even wrapped around a song title, simply "closer." the albums talk about how difficult it is to work through the initial stages of a relationship and how deeper understanding is wanted. i think that it's a great theme to wrap around because there are so many superficial relationships out in the world, be it a friendship or romantic one. i think that finding a deep friend that you can bare your soul to is so important. it's so easy to keep people out though, and this is something this album reflects on.

the album is one that will catch your ear as well. each song is unique and has it's own catchy vibe to it, whether it's the poppy "you belong here" or the driving beat of "pray tell." it's an album of songs that flow well together yet has songs that can stand out when listened to.

all this to say, you oughta give it a listen

(i'm lovin it.)

truth

2010-09-09T14:42:00.000-07:00

our God is greater, our God is stronger,

God you are higher than any other.

our God is healer, awesome in power

our God, our God.

more than all i want, more than all i need,

You are more than enough for me.

more than all i know, more than all i can see,

You are more than enough for me.

amazing grace

2010-09-05T08:59:00.000-07:00

the Lord has promised good to me.

His word my hope secures,

He will my shield and portion be,

as long as life endures.

great is thy faithfulness, o God my father,

there is no shadow of turning with thee;

thou changest not, thy compassions they fail not;

as thou hast been, thou forever wilt be.

you're my God and my firm foundation,

it is you [i need to trust] trust at all times.

i give glory, praise, adoration;

to my savior who's seated on high.

all i need is you lord, all i need is you.

you hold the universe, you hold everyone on earth.

sometimes it's easy to get caught up in the things whirling around me; to get caught up in the business and distraction. yet God is faithful and here when i lose focus of Him, still leading, still loving, and wanting to transform. great is His faithfulness.

running through my head

2010-08-24T13:21:00.000-07:00

and i hope it doesn't stop. truth and my life right now.

thoughts

2010-08-21T12:11:00.000-07:00

so i've been back on campus for about three weeks and i haven't been more excited those three weeks than i am right now.

friends have come back and i've seen growth in them that only God can be responsible for. a love for Him where there wasn't one before. outlooks that have shifted and focused. maturity that seems to have been gained. opportunities that have presented themselves. conversations that have gone deeper than before. each of these have brought me a deep joy to be around the people that i am. God is good.

i am also excited for the guys that will be living on my hall. i am in charge of all 24 of them; from being a rule enforcer to being their friend to (hopefully) spurring them on to a deeper love for Christ. i have just met them and each one seems to come from a different background, interested and plugged in to different things. i am counting on God's work to bring the hall together. nothing succeeds outside of his control.

inward glance

2010-08-17T08:05:00.001-07:00

God, we need your strength to fight,

your light to guide us through the night.

You're our only chance.

Messiah. Messiah. Messiah. Save us.

i'm growing, but it's so hard to tell when i'm not used to this. take me as i am

love

2010-08-11T19:22:00.000-07:00

i have heard the voice of God in the last couple of days, and he's talking about the same thing each time: love. just returning from biola's ra retreat, i am amazed at how simple/deep the love of God is, and i'm only scratching the surface. a lot of conversations and reading and praying and meetings were centered around the idea, none of which were connected together. here's a quote that explains how God's love is really and truly all we need.

"When you know yourself as fully loved, you will be able to give according to other's capacity to receive and you will be able to receive according to the other's capacity to give. You will be grateful for what is given to you without clinging to it, and joyful for what you can give without bragging about it. You will be a free person, free to love."- Henry Nouwen

"i've found a love, greater than life itself. i've found a hope, stronger, and nothing compares."

worship

2010-08-01T08:49:00.000-07:00

here in your presence, we are undone.
here in your presence, Heaven and Earth become one.

Wonderful, beautiful, glorious, matchless in EVERY way.

-new life worship band

johnny craig

2010-07-31T22:37:00.000-07:00

This guy has some serious vocal talent. He heads a band called Emarosa. Give them a listen and know that he sounds that good live. Me gusta

faith. and a lack of hard times

2010-07-29T22:15:00.000-07:00

this week i have been really struck with how tough things are right now. i've developed a habit this summer of reading the paper in the morning, a routine i'd have to say i enjoy quite a bit.

there has been a streak of negativity for the past couple of weeks, as one thing after another is catching the attention of newspaper reporters.

teachers who've been laid off aren't able to make things meet. their income was split in half when they received the pink slip and it has been a downward spiral since then. thousands upon thousands are in this situation, many having to stare bankruptcy and foreclosure in the face. it's a reality they never thought possible five, ten years ago.

a family and the community around them were floored this week when two little boys, 10 and 12, were killed. from all angles the police believe it to be a murder-suicide, or worse yet, a suicide pact. the boys had been active in school and were well liked. they were left at home for a few hours as the mom went to work. they were dead before she got there.

a man, his two year old daughter, and pregnant wife stopped me in a parking lot tonight. he had worked for general motors and was just laid off the week before. their life had been a tightrope of paycheck to paycheck living and now they were living out of a motel. yesterday they spent the last of their money on paying for their room and for food. they asked for anything that could help keep them afloat.

my point with each of these is not to make a sob story or put you in a depressed mood about the way things are. that's not what i'm getting at.

in each of these instances, in the newspaper articles for the first two, and lastly in the poor family, there was a faith. there was a hope, however small and dim. God was brought up in each circumstance and was attributed as the thing that was in control, and that He would still be trusted through it all.

that's what i'm getting at. i, and perhaps many around me, have lived a comfortable life. tragedies have been few and far between, nothing compared to the situations of these and many like them. i say that i have faith in God but i don't know if faced with tragedy like this, i would hold strong. hold strong to the truth of who God is: fully loving, eternally faithful and present, completely in control.

i read about all of this in His word, learn about it in the classes i take, but how can i know if it's taken root and changed my heart and head? i'm not inviting hard times, but i'm just saying sometimes comfort can be a bad thing, when we begin to get calloused and numb to what God has called us to: faith in Him with passion, through the blackest of storms or the quiet of summer evenings.

maturity and manhood

2010-07-27T15:37:00.000-07:00

i've come across a website that has quite a lot of interesting article about masculinity and manliness, hence the site name: the Art of Manliness. i've been engrossed in a few of the many articles on the site and found this one particularly interesting. it's a bit long, but well worth the read.

http://artofmanliness.com/2010/04/06/modern-maturity-create-more-consume-less/

Anberlin - "We Owe This To Ourselves"

2010-07-21T11:33:00.000-07:00

song off the upcoming album. cannot wait

yes.

2010-07-20T16:56:00.000-07:00

girl in athletic shorts who's down to throw frisbee in the park > girl in the cutest, trendiest, vintage-est, indie-est, lookbook-iest, outfit

via Chris Youngblood

whatimae

2010-07-12T20:19:00.001-07:00

so i guess i have to blog two days in a row. but this news made me come out of the woodwork:

one of my favorite bands growing up was mae. i'm still a huge fan and perk up whenever i hear their music being played anywhere. they're getting back together for a reunion tour(some of the members left, making the band a three-piece) and possibly an ep of new songs with the full band.

i cannot wait for this. i'm gonna be there with so many other kids like me who grew up to the sounds of the everglow, suspension, this time is the last time, the ocean, and the sun and the moon. soo many good memories and soo many good songs. this will be a good way to say goodbye. and good night

it's been dry lately..

2010-07-11T23:08:00.000-07:00

i feel like this summer has been dry.
i've lost motivation to blog..as evidenced by the slower pace of the blogomatic 3000 that lives in my brain. there's been plenty of things that are blogworthy, but my inclination is to mull things over in my brain and leave them at that.

some good summer music i've been digging lately:
travie mccoy: billionaire
circa survive: blue sky noise (album)
brighten: that girl
brand new: Deja Entendu (album)
tokyo police club: breakneck speed
underoath: define the great line

enjoying the summer. hope you are too

I've got Lewis on the Brain

2010-06-25T08:50:00.000-07:00

"Christ died for men preciesly because men are not worth dying for, to make them worth it."

"Until you have given up yourself to Him, you will not have a real self."

"Atheism turns out to be too simple. If the whole universe has no meaning, we shouldnever have hfound out that it has no meaning..."

" He who surrenders himself without reservation to the temporal claims of a nation, or party or class, is rendering to Caesar that which, of all things, most emphatically beliongs to God: himself..."

The road to hell is the gradual one-the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts."

way of life

2010-06-23T23:52:00.000-07:00

"For where your treasure is,_{where your time goes}, there your heart will be also."

Luke 12.34

seems like our society is focused on all the wrong things sometimes. it's easy to get wrapped up in everyday life and forget what our goal is; what we're supposed to be about. hopefully we don't forget forever

measure of a man

2010-06-16T22:33:00.000-07:00

This world can analize and size you up and throw you on the scales
They can I.Q. you and run you through
Their rigorous details
They can do their best to rate you
And they'll place you on the charts
And then back it up with scientific smarts
But there's more to what you're worth
Than their human eyes can see
Oh, I say the measure of a man
Is not how tall you stand
How wealthy or intelligent you are
'Cause I've found out the measure of a man
God knows and understands
For He looks inside to the bottom of your heart
And what's in the heart defines
The measure of a man
Well, you can doubt your worth
And search for who you are
And where you stand
But God made you in His image
When He formed you in His hands
And He looks at you with mercy
And He sees you through His love
You're His child and that will always be enough
For there's more to what you're worth
Than you could ever comprehend
Oh I say the measure of a man
Is not how tall you stand
How wealthy or intelligent you are
'Cause I've found out the measure of a man
God knows and understands
For He looks inside
To the bottom of your heart
And what's in the heart defines
The measure of a man
You can spend your life persuing physical perfection
There is so much more
More than ever meets the eye
For God looks through the surface
And He defines your worth by what is on the inside
I say the measure of a man
Is not how tall you stand
How wealthy or intelligent you are
'Cause I've found out the measure of a man
God knows and understands
For He looks inside
To the bottom of your heart
And what's in the heart defines
Oh, I say the measure of
The measure of a man
Is not how tall you stand,
How wealthy or intelligent you are
Oh, I've found the measure of a man
God knows and understands it
For He looks to the bottom of your heart
And what's in the heart defines
Yeah, what's in the heart defines
Yeah, what's in the heart defines
The measure of a man
I know, I know

I'm amazed

2010-06-16T12:54:00.000-07:00

God's love is amazing. I'm realizing more and more how different it is than any other kind of love in this world, and yet there is still so much more of it that I haven't even begun to see. He loves consistently, always pouring his affection and love on us. We are strange creatures to love too. We can be growing and changing in that love yet are so easily distracted from following him. We can trip up on little things or think we have a handle on our lives for a moment.
Yet God is still there for us, extending his hand to pull us close again. His love doesn't change from one moment to the next; it is just as strong, just as captivating, just as full as ever.
Your love is amazing, steady and unchanging.

2010-06-10T23:17:00.000-07:00

This is real love-not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.
-1 john 4.8,10

ever faithful, ever true. love that satisfies

2010-05-26T09:32:00.000-07:00

Jesus you endured my pain
Savior you bore all my shame
All because of your love
All because of your love

Maker of the universe
Broken for the sins of the earth
All because of your love
All because of your love

Because of your cross my debt is paid
Because of you blood my sins are washed away
Now all of my life, I freely give
Because of your love, Because of your love I live

Innocent and Holy king
You died to set the captive free
All because of your love
Lord you gave your life for me
So I will give my life for you
All because of your love
All because of your love

Because of your cross my debt is paid
Because of your blood my sins are washed away
Now all of my life I freely give
Because of your love, because your love I live

You did it for me, you did it for love
I'ts your victory, Jesus you are enough

phil wickham. Because of Your Love

God is God and i am man

2010-05-24T09:48:00.000-07:00

"I alone am God, the first and the Last. It was my hand that laid the foundations of the earth, my right hand that spread out the heavens above. When I call out the stars, they all appear in order."

isaiah 48.12-13

"for I am the Lord your God, who stirs up the sea, causing its waves to roar. My name is the Lord of Heaven's Armies. And I have put my words in your mouth and hidden you safely in my hand. I stretched out the sky like a canopy and laid the foundations of the earth. I am the one who says to Israel, 'you are my people.'"

isaiah 51.15-16

"have you explored the springs from which the seas come? have you explored their depths? do you know where the gates of death are located? have you seen the gates of utter gloom? do you realize the extent of the earth? tell me about it if you know!"

job 38.16-18

"can you shout to the clouds and make it rain?can you make lightning appear and cause it to strike as you direct? who gives intuition to the heart and instinct to the mind? who is wise enough to count all the clouds? who can tilt the water jars of heaven when the parched ground is dry..."

job 38.34-38

it baffles me when i try to think of all this, keeping in mind that the God described here came as a man and lived with human limitations for thirty years. fully God and fully man, but he did not act out of his divinity (phil. 2.5-11). all because of love for a people who would be so stubborn in accepting him.

amazing love, how can it be. that you (YAHWEH) would die for me?

maker of the universe, died for the sins of the earth.

love came down and rescued me, love came down and set me FREE.

quoted

2010-05-23T10:25:00.000-07:00

The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them."

-thomas merton

truth

2010-05-20T12:54:00.001-07:00

“Do not let sin control the way you live; do not give in to sinful desires. Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin. Instead, give yourselves completely to God, for you were dead, but now you have new life. So use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God. Sin is no longer your master, for you no longer live under the requirements of the law. Instead, you live under the freedom of God’s grace.

Well then, since God’s grace has set us free from the law, does that mean we can go on sinning? Of course not! Don’t you realize that you become the slave of whatever you choose to obey? You can be a slave to sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God, which leads to righteous living. Thank God! Once you were slaves of sin, but now you wholeheartedly obey this teaching we have given you. Now you are free from your slavery to sin, and you have become slaves to righteous living

Romans 6:12-18

silent voices

2010-05-18T12:16:00.000-07:00

"The heavens proclaim the glory of God. The skies display his craftsmanship. Day after day they continue to speak; night after night they make him known. They speak without a sound or word; their voice is never heard. Yet their message has gone throughout the earth, and their words to all the world." Ps. 19.1-4

we need each other

2010-05-15T21:14:00.000-07:00

why is it so easy to live close to others yet not know them? why can we live and laugh together and yet not feel close to them? why is it that we can spend so much time around others and yet not have a strong relationship with them?

i feel for him. i felt the emptiness there and the love that needs to be poured into his life. Father, if you are calling me, call me again. use me.

wrap him in your loving arms and surround him with friends who can uplift him. you've designed us for relationships with others and we so easily neglect that.

quoted

2010-05-12T01:02:00.000-07:00

"Is He safe? No, but He is good."

This has taken on new meaning recently. And it's stirring something in me.

we are at war

2010-05-06T09:45:00.000-07:00

there is a war going on today that we are all caught up in but hardly ever realize it. at least i don't anyway.

this war is against our souls and the image that God has placed in each of our hearts. it's a war that seeks to maim our relationship with God and keep us ineffective unaware of the deterioration of our lives. it's something that i've just recently begun to see, but it's overwhelming how far the reaches of our Enemy have stretched.

masculinity is under attack. men today are going through so many different things and have become twisted in how they live. there are few men who really understand wisdom, love, justice and most of all truth.

families are under attack. the relationship between men and women that provides structure to our society and is a mirror of Christ and his church has splintered. according to our world, there is no standard for what a family is supposed to look like: one parent or two, hetero or homo, grandparents or aunt/uncle parents; most families aren't loving or guiding anymore.

our country is under attack. there is so much corruption in the legal system, in our state capitals and in the nation's capital. politics has worked so hard to provide equality for all that Christianity has become unofficially discriminated against. our leaders have so many things that motivate their decisions, but hardly ever is it motivated by their Maker.

education is under attack. Christianity has been beaten back in different avenues of learning, written off as a fool's way of thinking. according to our world, Christianity has nothing to offer us; we are an enlightened people and can determine our own meaning in this world. our education should be focused on what science tells us and that is all.

and my soul is under attack. i think that this is the largest and most foundational front to this war. Satan, disguised as an angel of light, or better yet, seeming invisible and nonexistent, prods us subtly off the path of life. our souls have a rival and we often don't acknowledge it. he hates the fact that we exist and even more, hates that we are given grace for sin. he will do what it takes to keep us from the transforming love of Christ.

but there IS hope. we have been made by God himself; the one who forged our souls and breathed life into our bodies controls the world. He has defeated death and beaten Satan into submission. because we have been chosen and redeemed by Christ's blood, we have freedom to obey Him and not the depraved nature that lives within us. we can fight back.

"Stay Alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a raoring lion, looking for someone to devour. Stand firm against him and be strong in your faith." 1 Peter 5.8-9

"Dear friends, I warn you as temporary residents and foreigners to keep away from worldly desires that wage war against your very souls." 1 Peter 2.11

"You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world." 1 John 4.4

reblog(ging)

2010-05-05T00:24:00.000-07:00

Rob Lind

Man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart.

1 Samuel 16.7

You have heard it said that “image is everything”. I guess this has importance to you if your perspective is governed by this principle (how man perceives things). This text tells us that man and God have a clearly opposite way of viewing things and “sizing up” a person.

Is this text saying that we don’t have the ability to perceive a little deeper into a person’s heart (his inner being if you will)? I believe the passage is saying that this is how we look at life, people, etc. We’re struck by first appearances, by the external. This context reminds me of a statement I have heard, “It is what it is.” First impressions, externals, etc. are what we gravitate to in our minds, what we focus our observations on, and what control our conclusions. If we choose to live in this way, then not only is our perception of life governed by externals, how we present ourselves to the world is also governed by externals. Issues of the heart in reality become non-issues. The sad reality of living this way is ultimately that we are left empty, confused and deceived.

Does a person’s inner man, his heart matter? The obvious conclusion is of course it does, but the real challenge is, does it matter enough to me for me to change how I see others and myself? Am I willing to allow God to “search my heart”, and am I willing to see people beyond what I externally see in front of me? This choice of seeing life how God sees it or how man sees it will inevitably permeate your whole person and life. Maybe, just maybe you could say, “The value of a person’s soul (and mine for that matter) is far more valuable to me then the value of the clothes he has on his back.”

quoted

2010-04-27T20:20:00.000-07:00

The world of posers is shaken by a real man. They'll do whatever it takes to get you back in line – threaten you, bribe you, seduce you, undermine you. Let people feel the weight of who you are and let them deal with it.
John Eldredge

thoughts on love

2010-04-17T09:34:00.000-07:00

love. people look for it, live for it, relish it, and wrestle with it. to feel secure and fulfilled. to feel at peace. to know that you are accepted for who you are, doing whatever you do. our society is so wrapped up in it and we don't have a clue about how deep it runs. dating relationships and marriage is just the tip of the iceberg. people look for acceptance, inclusion and a feeling of belonging in so many places. friendship circles. families. jobs. relatives. neighbors. strangers.

while there is some good in feeling included by others, we need shift our focus. if we are always looking for the favor of others, we will never find out who WE are or what WE really care about. basing our lives on the opinions of others is not the way we were designed to live. each person is different, from the way we look to the things we love doing, to the weaknesses we have.

instead of looking around to others for a standard of life, we ought to look to the one who designed us. more than that, the one who LOVES us. loves us with the only real kind of love that accepts us for who we are and not what we do or don't do. we are made in the image of God and his standard for our lives is the one we should look to in shaping our lives.

our God is patient and kind. He is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. He does not demand his own way. He is not irritable and keeps no record of being wronged. He does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. our God never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

that is the kind of standard i want to be directed by. thank you God for your love.

2010-04-15T11:52:00.000-07:00

"ever faithful ever true; you I know, you NEVER let go."
David Crowder

captivated

2010-04-10T00:35:00.000-07:00

When I look into the mountains
I see Your fame
When I look into the night's sky
It sparkles Your name

The wind and the clouds and the blue in the sky
The sun and the moon and the stars so high
That's what draws me to You

I am, I'm captivated by You
In all that You do
I am, I'm captivated

When I wake unto the morning
It gives me Your sight
When I look across the ocean
It echoes Your might

The sand on the shore and the waves in the sea
The air in my lungs and the way You made me
That's what draws me to You

I am, I'm captivated by You
In all that You do
I am, I'm captivated

'Cause I am, I'm captivated by You
In all that You do
I am, I'm captivated

The wind and the clouds and the blue in the sky
The sun and the moon and the stars so high
The sand on the shore and the waves in the sea
The air in my lungs and the way You made me

The blood in my veins and my heart You invade
The plants how they grow and the tree and their shade
The way that I feel and love in my soul
I thank you my God for letting me, letting me know

I am, I'm captivated by You
In all that You do
I am, I'm captivated

'Cause I am, I'm captivated by You
In all that You do
I am, I'm captivated

Shawn McDonald.Captivated

quoted

2010-04-04T19:35:00.001-07:00

"Intercessors have an essential role to play in creating a better future for our world, because intercession is spiritual defiance of what is in the name of what God has promised. The shape of the future will be determined by those who can survey all it's various possibilities and who, by faith, latch on to one as inevitable. History belongs to the intercessors who thus bring the future into being."

Walter Wink

thoughts on a good friday

2010-04-03T00:15:00.000-07:00

I hear the Savior say, “Thy strength indeed is small
Child of weakness, watch and pray, Find in Me thine all in all.”

Jesus paid it all, All to Him I owe;
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow.

Lord, now indeed I find Thy power and Thine alone,
Can change the leper’s spots And melt the heart of stone.

And when before the throne I stand in Him complete,
"Jesus died my soul to save" my lips shall still repeat

O Praise the one who paid my
And raised this life up from the dead

Praise the one who paid my debt
And raised this life up from the dead

Praise the one who paid my
And raised this life up from the dead

O Praise the one who paid my debt
And raised this life up from the dead

God. i have shown more times than i'd like to admit, that i am fallen. i have done so many things that would make me seem like i am far from being your son. yet you died, my soul to save. You gave yourself up willingly, to die. i didn't earn salvation, or even want it, but you gave it anyway. You pursued me and are showing me how much you love me.

O Praise the one who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead.

dreams of flying

2010-03-30T10:35:00.001-07:00

check this out. it's a blog of pictures that were put together to show kids imagining they could fly. one of those little joys in life. enjoy.
Dreams of Flying

the finisher

2010-03-29T18:26:00.000-07:00

Do you mean to challenge me?
Because your speech is threatening to the writer of your history,
Through a future perverted by envy.
Your whisper may sway the weak, but when I speak it roars the sea.
Your challenge has been met, because with a breath I could snap your neck.
This wont be like the first time you tried,
Because my patience and mercy for you has run dry.
You've watered among my bride and started seeds to feed your throning flight.
I will sing to the world your storm is capturing
And the angles will join me...
We will sing to a world reborn from suffering.
But mark my words,
Because if that tree keeps them from seeing me
I will burn off your limbs and you will never shade again.
You will bow at my feet or I'll rip out your knees
And make of your face all the carnage you crave.
I am the Finisher and I am Forever.
I will sing to the world your storm is capturing
And the angels will join me...
We will sing to a world reborn from suffering.
From the armories the angels sing. You will see them end this suffering.
From the armories the angels sing. You will fear them when they lift their wings.
They will sing to a world reborn.
They will sing as I cut off your horns.
I'll cut off your horns.

(the finisher: oh sleeper)

restored. renewed

2010-03-24T10:29:00.000-07:00

so this week has been the crunch time of the semester. so far i've been able to coast; classes haven't been that hard, no big papers or projects to sweat over, tests have been spread out and all that.

this week is when all my professors decided to swing for the fences.

floor retreat this weekend.

ambassador guys night saturday night

theology project due monday (six pages)

statistics test tuesday

theology midterm wednesday (covering all the material we've learned so far)

geology test thursday.

so naturally i was feeling a bit overwhelmed waking up this morning. with a full day ahead of me, i was trying not to think about the load of work that's piled up.

then i went to chapel. it was on a whim; most of the guys from my hall decided to sleep in so i thought about just doing the same and working on some of this homework. but i went. and God met me there. the chapel was entirely acoustic worship, focusing on resting in God. the peace that we sang about resonated in my heart. the rest that i can't find right now met me there. His love covers me and holds me in his hand and i can take comfort that he will be with me as i go through this week. not on my strength, because that will wear out. i work and push through with his strength.

God is close and knows the things we go through. God is good and loves us.

the Lord is my shepherd, i shall not want.

he makes me to lie down in green pastures,

he leads me beside quiet waters,

for his name's sake.

even though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

i will fear no evil, for You are with me.

your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil;

my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life

and i will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

(Psalm 23)

lyrics

2010-03-10T12:11:00.000-08:00

Before the world was made
Before you spoke it to be
You were the King of Kings
Yeah you were, yeah you were
And now you're reigning still
Enthroned above all things
Angels and saints cry out
We join them as we sing

Glory to God
Glory to God
Glory to God forever

Creator God you gave
Me breath so i could praise
Your great and matchless name
All my days, all my days
So let my whole life be
A blazing offering
A life that shouts and sings
The greatness of our King

Take my life and let it be
All for you and for your glory
Take my life and let it be yours

-Fee.

insight

2010-03-09T10:04:00.000-08:00

"So we have not stopped praying for you since we first heard about you. We ask God to give you complete knowledge of his will and to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding. Then the way you live will always honor and please the Lord, and your lives will produce every kind of good fruit. All the while, you will grow as you learn to know God better and better."

Colossians. 1.9-10

i (still) don't get it

2010-03-01T18:13:00.000-08:00

i'm still learning about this thing called love. it seems that it's something God is trying to get me to understand. specifically, His love for me. the love of a God for His creation. the love of a Father for his child. the love of a Shepherd for the lost little one.

i've been hit with how foundational this understanding is; if God loves us, and we know it, then we can love others. if God loves us, and we know it, we don't have to love ourselves. if God loves us, and we know it, we can trust Him with our lives. if God loves us, and we know it, then we are free.

i think what it comes down to is the fact that i feel like i have to earn God's love. i've been told since i was born, and maybe before then, that it can't be earned. but for some reason, it doesn't really connect. i feel like i have to live a certain way, avoid certain things, participate in other things, do this or that, avoid this or that. subconsciously, i guess that would make me worthy.

but it's all over the bible that this isn't possible. i am human. fallible. marred. prone to wander. yet that doesn't really hit me. maybe not outwardly, but my attitude says that i can do it.

God. i'm sorry for thinking this way. i don't know if i'm doing it consciously or not. i don't know if i mean to do all this. i need a change of perspective. You are the God of all truth. please explain to me that i cannot measure up, and that Your love is still freely given, based not on what i do but on Your image in me. i want to learn to love you more. and i still feel like there's more to say.

a slow death

2010-02-04T23:21:00.000-08:00

being busy sucks. it's more than just not having the time to do the things you want to, it gets to the point where you can't make time for the things you need to do. like eat. like sleep.

something about the society we live in pushes us to be busy and rarely gives us a chance to slow down and realize it. we have to get through college as soon as possible, we have to do as much as we can with friends, we have to go to as many concerts and games as possible, we take on extra hours at work to earn more money. we try to move so fast through things because of what's waiting on the other side. it's our poison of choice.

i've gotten sick of the hectic and busyness that's so east to step into. i don't even think about it.

this week's been busy. that's an understatement. it's been hectic. that's an understatement too. i miss the slow pace of life i had over break. i miss getting to hang with people and talk about life, i miss being able to hear myself think, and to be able to analyze those thoughts. i miss being with all of these things and more. maybe i'm just tired. maybe i'm just off my rocker a bit.

yet God's still got me: when life gets overwhelming, or annoying, or frustrating, i can look to what's beyond the situation. beyond the here and now, to the eternal:

"YOU guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny. Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever." Ps. 73.24-27

he's real

2010-01-31T09:56:00.000-08:00

God's real. it might seem like a given for anybody reading, but evidence from time to time; reminders of the fact are so awesome to have.

my mom's been having bad stomach pains and naseau the last couple of weeks. it's gotten to the point that she had to check into the hospital because she couldn't talk from the pain and shaking that came with it. we heard it might have been something with her heart, and so a bunch of tests were run to check it out. scary stuff.

i didn't really get a chance to think about it, much less pray about it; it happened pretty fast. so this morning was the first time i got to sit down and breathe, and reflect on it. i prayed a bit distractedly for the doctors and their nurses, for my mom, dad and us kids to trust God through this. i prayed not really knowing what i was feeling.

then i opened my bible, hoping to go to psalms. i landed on Isaiah 43. stinking amazing how God works through what might be chalked up to coincidence.

"But now, O Jacob, listen to the Lord who created you. O Israel, the one who formed you says, 'Do not be afraid for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. I gave Egypt as a ransom for your freedom; Ethiopia and Seba in your place. Others were given in exchange for you. I traded their lives for yours because you are precious to me. You are honored, and I love you.'"

nuts. God is nuts. in the best way possible.

Wanted:

2010-01-26T14:31:00.000-08:00

Found this on the blog of a friend of a friend. I thought it was particularly good. Enjoy. and if it provokes you, comment.

How would you describe the perfect girl?

She’d be an inch and a half shorter than me with three freckles that make a triangle in the middle of her collarbone. Hazel eyes would make my blood electric with every stare. Her cheeks would hit the hang up button on her cell phone and they would warrant a perfect line from a song to be dedicated to them as we dance in circles on the carpet of my living room. She would wake in the middle of the night and ask, “Where are you?” when we’re only three inches apart.

My cells would pioneer new skin at the touch of her fingertips just to breathe in their first breath of air that surrounds her body. So they could find a connection with the flakes of death that fall upon them and mourn their collected beauty from a life they just fell from.

Her words would be full of hope and wisdom. Full of fight and God. Full of purity and passion. Her heart would create sparks that would ignite a fire inside me. A fire that burns for our foundation for God and our genuine love for each other in His honor. We would find ourselves showing love that would be for people to pull from. To find hope in. To know that they don’t have to settle.

My perfect girl is real. She is beauty in it’s purest form. She is my love. She is my blood. She is perfectly structured grace. She is soft skin, high hips, and a voice that makes a southern boy smile at rebellion for breaking the rules and tradition of his state. She loves sweet tea, fried chicken, and the asphalt under her feet. She is someone who doesn’t cloud my life with our God, but strengthens it and gives it new meaning.

Girls, if you don’t have someone who can talk like this about you when it’s what you desire most, seek God and wait for him. Do not settle. Guys, if you can’t say these words about a girl with the purest intentions, seek God and find her. Do not settle

Here is love, vast as the ocean

2010-01-25T23:10:00.000-08:00

Loving kindness as the flood
When the Prince of life, our ransom
Shed for us His precious blood
Who His love will not remember?
Who can cease to sing His praise?

testimony

2010-01-23T23:45:00.001-08:00

there are some things in life that make you pause, make you think that there must be something more than chance responsible for what you see; something more going on.

tonight i felt that. i saw that. i experienced that. i went to a coffeeshop show featuring a band called the fragrance.

i was struck as i listened; their lyrics are worship, unadultered. they sing from different experiences and backgrounds, but to the same God. they have been blessed and loved beyond compare and seek to tell others about it through their music. one song that i'm particularly taken with says simply "What a mighty God we serve!" over and over again. the conviction in the voices speak of truth; that they sing from experience and mean what they say. their show felt more like a worship service than a performance.

God be glorified through this music. bless the members of this band as they live in a love relationship with you, their maker and completion of their souls. thank you for the influence they are gaining and i PRAY that you would not let these words be lost in translation. use them to glorify you and explain to others what this life is really about.

clap your hand all ye children

all i need

2010-01-20T20:01:00.000-08:00

Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything,everything
You're all I want your all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything.

And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

(Lifehouse.Everything)

downpour

2010-01-19T23:27:00.000-08:00

it rained today. more than i've ever seen it here in california. i don't think that it stopped for more than two hours. and when it rained, it poured. streets didn't have any more curbs; the new rivers were level with the sidewalks that bordered the roads. mudslides are beginning to threaten people's homes and the rainfall is apparently just beginning. news reporters are saying that the storm drains may not be able to hold all the water that is coming, they just weren't built for to the capacity that this storm demands.

a week ago, an earthquake happened. a 7.0 earthquake to be exact. it's epicenter (the center of the quake) happened just ten miles from the center of Haiti's capital. that city was home to 2 million people. prior to the quake, 80% of the country lived in poverty. immediately following the quake, 3 million people were in need of immediate aid. to date, there have been 33 aftershocks, ranging from 4.2 to 5.9. in the country of Haiti, there are no construction standards; buildings, homes, roads, neighborhoods are all built however the architect wants. a modest estimate of 60,000 missing has been put forward.

two weeks earlier, there was another quake in northern california.

two days after the Haitian quake, there was one in southern california.

why am i pointing all this out? it's not a negative angle that i'm coming from, it's just a reminder that i've had. we are not in control. i don't think there is anything we could have done to predict the earthquake, and certainly nothing we could have done to prevent it. before the storms came, southern california had not had significant rain in 25 years i'm told. then, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, a storm comes that drenches the region. hearing all of the stories and seeing the flooding, it was a reminder that we are not in control. it seems that way sometimes, when we make work for something or plan something that comes together well. but we are only human. something bigger controls our existence. it allows us to move and breathe. it allows us to live on this earth.

i don't know what purpose all of these things serve but it makes me think about how i live life. do i try to control my own world; or are the reigns in someone else's hand? someone bigger?

Ps. 24:1 "The earth is the Lord's and all that is in it. The world and all it's people are His. For he laid the earth's foundations on the seas and built it on the ocean's depth."

this is all wrong

2010-01-16T22:38:00.000-08:00

Robert Bly, from his book Iron John:
"What does it mean when a man falls in love with a radiant face across the room? It may mean that he has some soul work to do. His soul is the issue. Instead of pursuing the woman and trying to get her alone...he needs to go alone himself, perhaps to a mountain cabin, for three months, write poetry, canoe down a river, and dream."

John Eldredge, from his book Wild at Heart:
"...the masculine journey always takes a man away from the woman, in order that he may come back to her with is question answered. A man does not go to a woman to get his strength; he goes to her to offer it. You do not need the woman for you to become a great man, and as a great man you do not need the woman."

i'm beginning to see that we've gotten it all wrong, and i've been guilty of buying into the program. taught to think and behave a certain way, it's really killing men around the world. God, take off the blinders and teach us to see.

i don't know about this

2010-01-05T23:06:00.000-08:00

lately, i've been thinking about love. not the type that shows up around valentines, or in wedding rings, or in marriages that last 60 years and beyond. although i think there might be something in that too.
i wonder why we as humans are so drawn to love. our culture is so wrapped around love that we' ve begun to lose sight of what it really is. we are told that there is special someone out there who will be our perfect match, that we'll complement each other and will make each other complete. but is that what really makes us complete? is the love of another person really what makes us complete?
no. i'm beginning to see that it's a different kind of love that makes us complete. the love of a father for his son or daughter. a love that exists only because they are his children. he sees pieces of himself in them. as their father and creator, his love for them envelops them, no matter what they do. it is in this love alone that they will have true peace. there is nothing else that will satisfy them. knowing that he loves them and will care for them, they don't need to try to impress anyone, don't have to try to make it on their own, don't have to worry about the future. he has already promised to be with them through whatever. he loves them.

why is it that the answer to such a complex universe is so simple? love. yet at the same time, it's so hard to understand. a love that is so...perfect. so perfect that we don't need anything else.

God. take this love you offer and transform my heart. help me to understand and to begin to love others.

thoughts on Lewis

2009-12-25T22:42:00.000-08:00

faith.: "the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted, in spite of your changing moods...that is why faith is such a necessary virtue: unless you teach your moods 'where to get off', you can never be either a sound Christian or a sound athiest but just a creature dithering to and fro, with its beliefs really dependent on the weather and the state of its digestion."

"the first step is to recognise the fact that your moods change. the next is to make sure that, if you have once accepted Christianity, then some of its main doctrines shall be deliberately held before your mind for some time every day."

God. there is so much wisdom in these words. i don't know why i haven't seen it before but there is so much truth in this. my definition of faith, as seen in my life seems to be closely tied to how i'm feeling, how busy i am, the people i'm around, and the health i'm in. this isn't it at all. faith is knowing what i believe, no matter of the circumstances; knowing that God loves me and that He is all that i need. period. it seems so simple yet so overlooked.

and a reminder of what i know and hold as truth every day. of course. to remind my heart and mind about what's really the case; what really matters and what my relationship to God is. doing that everyday would change the way i went about those days.

"the main thing we learn from a serious attempt to practise the Christian virtues is that we fail. If there was any idea that God had set us a sort of exam and that we might get good marks by deserving them, that has to be wiped out...I think everyone who has some vague belief in God, until he becomes a Christian, has the idea of an exam. The first result of real Christianity is to blow that idea to bits...God has been waiting for the moment at which you discover that there is no question of earning a pass mark in this exam or putting Him in your debt."

God. i know this to be all too true in my life. i try to keep these "christian virtues" but it is useless. i fail every time, sooner or later. but that doesn't matter. THAT DOESN'T MATTER. you love me no matter what i do, no matter what i fail at, no matter what. your love is unconditional and it hinges not on deserving or not deserving it. it is a fact of reality.

(thank you Mr. Lewis)