a slow death

being busy sucks. it's more than just not having the time to do the things you want to, it gets to the point where you can't make time for the things you need to do. like eat. like sleep.

something about the society we live in pushes us to be busy and rarely gives us a chance to slow down and realize it. we have to get through college as soon as possible, we have to do as much as we can with friends, we have to go to as many concerts and games as possible, we take on extra hours at work to earn more money. we try to move so fast through things because of what's waiting on the other side. it's our poison of choice.

i've gotten sick of the hectic and busyness that's so east to step into. i don't even think about it.

this week's been busy. that's an understatement. it's been hectic. that's an understatement too. i miss the slow pace of life i had over break. i miss getting to hang with people and talk about life, i miss being able to hear myself think, and to be able to analyze those thoughts. i miss being with all of these things and more. maybe i'm just tired. maybe i'm just off my rocker a bit.

yet God's still got me: when life gets overwhelming, or annoying, or frustrating, i can look to what's beyond the situation. beyond the here and now, to the eternal:

"YOU guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny. Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever." Ps. 73.24-27

he's real

God's real. it might seem like a given for anybody reading, but evidence from time to time; reminders of the fact are so awesome to have.

my mom's been having bad stomach pains and naseau the last couple of weeks. it's gotten to the point that she had to check into the hospital because she couldn't talk from the pain and shaking that came with it. we heard it might have been something with her heart, and so a bunch of tests were run to check it out. scary stuff.

i didn't really get a chance to think about it, much less pray about it; it happened pretty fast. so this morning was the first time i got to sit down and breathe, and reflect on it. i prayed a bit distractedly for the doctors and their nurses, for my mom, dad and us kids to trust God through this. i prayed not really knowing what i was feeling.

then i opened my bible, hoping to go to psalms. i landed on Isaiah 43. stinking amazing how God works through what might be chalked up to coincidence.

"But now, O Jacob, listen to the Lord who created you. O Israel, the one who formed you says, 'Do not be afraid for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. I gave Egypt as a ransom for your freedom; Ethiopia and Seba in your place. Others were given in exchange for you. I traded their lives for yours because you are precious to me. You are honored, and I love you.'"

nuts. God is nuts. in the best way possible.

Wanted:

Found this on the blog of a friend of a friend. I thought it was particularly good. Enjoy. and if it provokes you, comment.

How would you describe the perfect girl?

She’d be an inch and a half shorter than me with three freckles that make a triangle in the middle of her collarbone. Hazel eyes would make my blood electric with every stare. Her cheeks would hit the hang up button on her cell phone and they would warrant a perfect line from a song to be dedicated to them as we dance in circles on the carpet of my living room. She would wake in the middle of the night and ask, “Where are you?” when we’re only three inches apart.

My cells would pioneer new skin at the touch of her fingertips just to breathe in their first breath of air that surrounds her body. So they could find a connection with the flakes of death that fall upon them and mourn their collected beauty from a life they just fell from.

Her words would be full of hope and wisdom. Full of fight and God. Full of purity and passion. Her heart would create sparks that would ignite a fire inside me. A fire that burns for our foundation for God and our genuine love for each other in His honor. We would find ourselves showing love that would be for people to pull from. To find hope in. To know that they don’t have to settle.

My perfect girl is real. She is beauty in it’s purest form. She is my love. She is my blood. She is perfectly structured grace. She is soft skin, high hips, and a voice that makes a southern boy smile at rebellion for breaking the rules and tradition of his state. She loves sweet tea, fried chicken, and the asphalt under her feet. She is someone who doesn’t cloud my life with our God, but strengthens it and gives it new meaning.

Girls, if you don’t have someone who can talk like this about you when it’s what you desire most, seek God and wait for him. Do not settle. Guys, if you can’t say these words about a girl with the purest intentions, seek God and find her. Do not settle

Here is love, vast as the ocean

Loving kindness as the flood
When the Prince of life, our ransom
Shed for us His precious blood
Who His love will not remember?
Who can cease to sing His praise?

testimony

there are some things in life that make you pause, make you think that there must be something more than chance responsible for what you see; something more going on.

tonight i felt that. i saw that. i experienced that. i went to a coffeeshop show featuring a band called the fragrance.

i was struck as i listened; their lyrics are worship, unadultered. they sing from different experiences and backgrounds, but to the same God. they have been blessed and loved beyond compare and seek to tell others about it through their music. one song that i'm particularly taken with says simply "What a mighty God we serve!" over and over again. the conviction in the voices speak of truth; that they sing from experience and mean what they say. their show felt more like a worship service than a performance.

God be glorified through this music. bless the members of this band as they live in a love relationship with you, their maker and completion of their souls. thank you for the influence they are gaining and i PRAY that you would not let these words be lost in translation. use them to glorify you and explain to others what this life is really about.

clap your hand all ye children

all i need

Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything,everything
You're all I want your all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything.

And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

(Lifehouse.Everything)

downpour

it rained today. more than i've ever seen it here in california. i don't think that it stopped for more than two hours. and when it rained, it poured. streets didn't have any more curbs; the new rivers were level with the sidewalks that bordered the roads. mudslides are beginning to threaten people's homes and the rainfall is apparently just beginning. news reporters are saying that the storm drains may not be able to hold all the water that is coming, they just weren't built for to the capacity that this storm demands.

a week ago, an earthquake happened. a 7.0 earthquake to be exact. it's epicenter (the center of the quake) happened just ten miles from the center of Haiti's capital. that city was home to 2 million people. prior to the quake, 80% of the country lived in poverty. immediately following the quake, 3 million people were in need of immediate aid. to date, there have been 33 aftershocks, ranging from 4.2 to 5.9. in the country of Haiti, there are no construction standards; buildings, homes, roads, neighborhoods are all built however the architect wants. a modest estimate of 60,000 missing has been put forward.

two weeks earlier, there was another quake in northern california.

two days after the Haitian quake, there was one in southern california.

why am i pointing all this out? it's not a negative angle that i'm coming from, it's just a reminder that i've had. we are not in control. i don't think there is anything we could have done to predict the earthquake, and certainly nothing we could have done to prevent it. before the storms came, southern california had not had significant rain in 25 years i'm told. then, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, a storm comes that drenches the region. hearing all of the stories and seeing the flooding, it was a reminder that we are not in control. it seems that way sometimes, when we make work for something or plan something that comes together well. but we are only human. something bigger controls our existence. it allows us to move and breathe. it allows us to live on this earth.

i don't know what purpose all of these things serve but it makes me think about how i live life. do i try to control my own world; or are the reigns in someone else's hand? someone bigger?

Ps. 24:1 "The earth is the Lord's and all that is in it. The world and all it's people are His. For he laid the earth's foundations on the seas and built it on the ocean's depth."