i've been hit with how foundational this understanding is; if God loves us, and we know it, then we can love others. if God loves us, and we know it, we don't have to love ourselves. if God loves us, and we know it, we can trust Him with our lives. if God loves us, and we know it, then we are free.
i think what it comes down to is the fact that i feel like i have to earn God's love. i've been told since i was born, and maybe before then, that it can't be earned. but for some reason, it doesn't really connect. i feel like i have to live a certain way, avoid certain things, participate in other things, do this or that, avoid this or that. subconsciously, i guess that would make me worthy.
but it's all over the bible that this isn't possible. i am human. fallible. marred. prone to wander. yet that doesn't really hit me. maybe not outwardly, but my attitude says that i can do it.
God. i'm sorry for thinking this way. i don't know if i'm doing it consciously or not. i don't know if i mean to do all this. i need a change of perspective. You are the God of all truth. please explain to me that i cannot measure up, and that Your love is still freely given, based not on what i do but on Your image in me. i want to learn to love you more. and i still feel like there's more to say.
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Praise God. This reminds me of a SICK Piper quote (and really, anthem) that "God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him"...in His love.
check out this verse:
Psalm 5:7
"because of your unfailing love, i can enter your house. i will worship at your temple with deepest awe."
it's all about his love! and yeah we learn about how we can't earn his love but there's a time when this just clicks. and its definitely a process
it is because of this crazy unfailing love that we worship. that we sing, dance...however we chose to respond.
that's what it's all about.
i'll be praying that you completely wrapped up in his love. read through the Psalms. the word unfailing is in there 72 times!
I've totally been thinking about this lately! I was also just having a conversation with one of my friends about it...about feeling like you need to earn God's love. I think that disconnect, between being told we don't need to earn God's love, but still feeling like we have to, is pretty common today.
But I think it comes down to surrender. If you keep trying to make yourself good enough, you'll never get there. But if you surrender to God and allow Him to work, He'll start making you more like Him. At least, that's what I've been experiencing lately.
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