say what you mean and mean what you say

i was thinking. how many of us really mean what we say? of course, all of us want to think that in conversation we mean what we say, but if we really look at it, is it true?
here's an example: you're talking with a friend who's about to leave for a big trip. you say goodbye and that you hope they have a great time. what do we mean by that? it hit me that in saying something like that, we are showing that we care for the person, and for their sake and..well being i guess, we want them to be happy and enjoy their time.
another example: a friend tells you about a death in their family and the first thing out of your mouth is to say 'oh, i'm so sorry!' in looking at the meaning behind this, again, you care for the person and recognize that they must be dealing with alot of grief because of their loss. anyone who goes through an experience like that needs, at least a little, consolation; which is why you offer condolences.

my point is this: how often do we go around saying things because it is natural, or socially expected, without really meaning it? i want to be the kind of person who says things and actually means them. i'm not saying that thisis something i'm not; it's just something i want to work on.

mmm

found another instrumental band that i'm diggin right now. they're called sleepmakeswaves (yes it's one word), out of Australia. pretty small and new to the music scene but their stuff is good nonetheless. they're a bit more edgy than This Will Destroy You, but not untatsefully so. if you have a minute, go and check em out

on surfing

i've realized that one of the things that brings me joy and a greater appreciation for God is surfing. this summer, as i've had alot more time on my hands than i had planned, surfing has been something i've turned to to keep me busy.

something just feels right about diving into the surf on my board and feeling the shock of the water as it washes over me. the salt mixes with the air as the water sprays over the nose. it's one of the best feelings to get a face-full of water as you paddle through the first waves. it wakes me up and i feel more alive.

then comes the wait: watching the horizon for sign of a swell that will eventually turn into a wave. the ocean extends as far as the eye can see and meets the sky. most mornings, it's overcast so the water has a deep gray color to it. white crests form as a wave moves towards the beach and there is movement in the water as other surfers shift to get in position.

i never seem to get tired of it. the rides may be short and the waves form-less, but i keep coming back, hoping to find a break that is calling to be ridden. i can't wait to go out again.
more on this to come.

musings on community

through today i've seen some of what i never thought i would. a marriage between a man and woman that is still together for God knows why. a father who is not superman, and deals with pain and scars just like everyone does. a man who cannot control himself and knows what he does hurts those around him. a woman who cannot seem to let people get to her heart, wrapping herself around stories and ankle-deep relationships.

what is wrong with us, that we have so twisted what God intended for good? why does it have to be this way? i see examples around me that prove that it doesn't but my reality begs to differ. i am beginning to realize that we as humans were designed to be in relationship and community with each other; it gives us more of a completeness and integrity that we desperately need.

"no man is an island." whoever said that was right on the money.

hmmm

where has the semester gone?
three weeks away from being done. what the heck? freshmen year of college is almost finished. hmmm. not sure how i feel about this

lyrics again

I'm the desperate
And you're the savior
There's been something else
Talkin' in my ear
Someone save me
When I Speak It begins to decay
I'm not about to bury myself
Oh, God! My hands are shaking again
Calm down! Now I can't feel the floor
And my vision takes it's toll on me

Oh, God! It's racing through my veins
I'm afraid there must be some kinda mistake
Oh, I'm in over my head again
reach in and grab a hold of me
I'm so scared that I've started to slip
They say that I'll never change
I'll prove them wrong
It's over
I hear the calling but its passing through
Clean me up show me how to live
Tear me down
Let me start again

it's something i'm prone to; letting mistakes get to me. God is faithful and forgives. this should be kept in mind. however, God doesn't appreciate empty promises towards change. i hope that i don't make any more of those.

New Music

This Will Destroy You- A band that has been shown to me by some friends that I love, and it's only been a couple of hours since I got their music. Much in the same style as Explosions, they are an instrumental band with songs that match minute by minute (most songs are over six minutes), epic chords leading to softness and calm leading to building melodies. the drums are more raw and pronounced than that of explosions; maybe that's one of the reasons i'm so into these guys. check em out.