growing and the pains that go with

have you ever been struck by how you're growing? hit with the fact that you are, in fact, growing older and the years of playing on the jungle gym are growing dim. what is coming closer are things that you never thought much about as a kid, but suddenly are close realities.

these are things that i've been chewing on lately. am i growing into the man that will be a good husband and father to my wife, a good life long friend to my brothers, and a close companion to my family? life is always moving by and sometimes i feel as if i unknowingly close my eyes to it.

father. make me into a man after your heart. show me what that looks like, and lead my heart that way. the rest will follow. i ask that Your grace would become something that is always on my mind. let it enter my heart and change my perspective on those around me. as i work through my days, would you begin to mold me into the man you want me to be. help me to focus on you and the life you offer.

i ask for grace and wisdom beyond measure for my brothers. as they wrestle with these things too, be close. help them to search for your heart in these things. when confusion or emotion or fear prevents them from seeing clearly, give them grace and persistence. bring people that can give advice to them and help them work through these issues.

father. thank you for your presence. that you are real. thank you for your goodness and care for our lives. great is thy faithfulness

faith. and a lack of hard times

this week i have been really struck with how tough things are right now. i've developed a habit this summer of reading the paper in the morning, a routine i'd have to say i enjoy quite a bit.

there has been a streak of negativity for the past couple of weeks, as one thing after another is catching the attention of newspaper reporters.

teachers who've been laid off aren't able to make things meet. their income was split in half when they received the pink slip and it has been a downward spiral since then. thousands upon thousands are in this situation, many having to stare bankruptcy and foreclosure in the face. it's a reality they never thought possible five, ten years ago.

a family and the community around them were floored this week when two little boys, 10 and 12, were killed. from all angles the police believe it to be a murder-suicide, or worse yet, a suicide pact. the boys had been active in school and were well liked. they were left at home for a few hours as the mom went to work. they were dead before she got there.

a man, his two year old daughter, and pregnant wife stopped me in a parking lot tonight. he had worked for general motors and was just laid off the week before. their life had been a tightrope of paycheck to paycheck living and now they were living out of a motel. yesterday they spent the last of their money on paying for their room and for food. they asked for anything that could help keep them afloat.

my point with each of these is not to make a sob story or put you in a depressed mood about the way things are. that's not what i'm getting at.

in each of these instances, in the newspaper articles for the first two, and lastly in the poor family, there was a faith. there was a hope, however small and dim. God was brought up in each circumstance and was attributed as the thing that was in control, and that He would still be trusted through it all.

that's what i'm getting at. i, and perhaps many around me, have lived a comfortable life. tragedies have been few and far between, nothing compared to the situations of these and many like them. i say that i have faith in God but i don't know if faced with tragedy like this, i would hold strong. hold strong to the truth of who God is: fully loving, eternally faithful and present, completely in control.

i read about all of this in His word, learn about it in the classes i take, but how can i know if it's taken root and changed my heart and head? i'm not inviting hard times, but i'm just saying sometimes comfort can be a bad thing, when we begin to get calloused and numb to what God has called us to: faith in Him with passion, through the blackest of storms or the quiet of summer evenings.

way of life

"For where your treasure is,_{where your time goes}, there your heart will be also."

Luke 12.34

seems like our society is focused on all the wrong things sometimes. it's easy to get wrapped up in everyday life and forget what our goal is; what we're supposed to be about. hopefully we don't forget forever