looking ahead

the past week and change have been interesting for me. alot has changed and things are beginning to shape up here on campus differently than i could have imagined.
being on a new hall is, well, new. the guys here have relationships with each other that have a year on the relationships i have with them. the friends i hung out with last year are seeming to move on to different groups. my future as a psych major is just starting and it's exiting to look at the options that are available.
in the midst of all this, there is an uncertainty about things. i feel on edge and wish that things could go back to the way they were. i found myself questioning what will come next; what i'm supposed to do now.

David's words ring true: "My life constantly hangs in the balance, but I will not stop obeying your instructions."
" Your laws are my treasure, they are my heart's delight. I am determined to keep your decrees to the very end."
"Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path. I've promised it once, and I'll promise
it again: I will obey your righteous regulations."

Psalm 119.105-112

in the midst of all this, whether i feel good about the situation i'm in or whether things seem to make sense, or whether i am sad, God asks me to continue to live as He's called me to: to be focused on Him and to work towards making His heart my own.

Father. teach me to love and live for you alone. may the words of my mouth and the thoughts, goals, dreams and meditations of my heart be pleasing to You. thank you for loving me and giving your son over to death to save me from death.

love

You are the hand that catches my fall
You are the friend that answers my call
You are my day, You are my night
You are my love and all of my life

You are the love I need
You are the air I breathe
You are my love my life always forever
I would lay down my life
Just to be by Your side
You are my love my life always forever

You are the grace that covers my sin
You’re everything the beginning and end
You have my soul, my heart and my mind
You have my love and all of my life

hallelujah hallelujah
always forever

hope springs eternal

why are things the way they are? why were we born in such a place as this?
i watched slumdog again tonight and for some reason i got to thinking afterwards about how blessed i am; and how desperate the situation is over in India. after chewing on that a while, i've gotten to thinking about why God put me here in America, rather than in a poor slum like those in the movie. why do i deserve to sit by lamplight and write from this perspective, from this end of things? why has God put me in this circumstance rather than another?

i also got to thinking; is this the worst the world has ever been? are we tearing ourselves apart? from the sun-scorched countries in Africa ravaged by AIDS, to the slums of India where a quarter of the world's population lives, mostly under the poverty level, to the countries oppressed by corruption and injustice, to our own nation, where morality is becoming a subjective topic and we are growing increasingly cold; where will it end?

is there hope for our generation? for the world? what will surround our lives in the future?

and yet:
" I will sing of the Lord's unfailing love forever! Young and old will hear of your faithfulness. Your unfailing love will last forever, Your faithfulness is as enduring as the heavens." (psalm 89.1-2)

God. You've blessed me and i don't know why. however, the fact still remains. help me to bless others through your blessing. give me hope for our world and remind me that all things are in Your control.

endless summer?

busy. it's something that summer lends itself to but in the business, i've found that there's alot i'm experiencing (naturally), and learning. in the last week, i've had friends break off relationships, people express their immaturity, acquaintances make profound statements, and a God who has revealed some things that i know i need to grow into.

i wish that the summer would last...longer. not forever, because there is a time and season for everything and school is something i miss. but i do wish that the laid back, easy pace of things would stick around a while. i want more time to just do what i want; to have the time to spend an hour or two in the word, to have time to nap off a late night before, to have time to spend all day in the surf. whatever. hmm.