before the throne of God above.

allelujah, allelujah. praise the one, risen Son of God.

He is more than i know. He is more than i think i know. He is more than i need. He is exactly what i need.

Father, teach me more of who You are and what i am without You. captivate my heart.

more lewis

Good beats upon the damned incessantly as sound waves beat on the ears of the deaf, but they cannot receive it. Their fists are clenched, their teeth are clenched, their eyes fast shut. First they will not, in the end they cannot, open their hands for gifts, or their mouth for food, or their eyes to see.

-C.S. Lewis- The Great Divorce

growing and the pains that go with

have you ever been struck by how you're growing? hit with the fact that you are, in fact, growing older and the years of playing on the jungle gym are growing dim. what is coming closer are things that you never thought much about as a kid, but suddenly are close realities.

these are things that i've been chewing on lately. am i growing into the man that will be a good husband and father to my wife, a good life long friend to my brothers, and a close companion to my family? life is always moving by and sometimes i feel as if i unknowingly close my eyes to it.

father. make me into a man after your heart. show me what that looks like, and lead my heart that way. the rest will follow. i ask that Your grace would become something that is always on my mind. let it enter my heart and change my perspective on those around me. as i work through my days, would you begin to mold me into the man you want me to be. help me to focus on you and the life you offer.

i ask for grace and wisdom beyond measure for my brothers. as they wrestle with these things too, be close. help them to search for your heart in these things. when confusion or emotion or fear prevents them from seeing clearly, give them grace and persistence. bring people that can give advice to them and help them work through these issues.

father. thank you for your presence. that you are real. thank you for your goodness and care for our lives. great is thy faithfulness

grace. and hoping to grow in it

weekend away

went away to big bear ca with about half of the guys from emerson this weekend. it was awesome to get away from the business of life and just be still for a while. conversations were had, lives were shared, weaknesses identified, and stories told. God is good and more than i will ever know.

perspective

i am not my own. i have been made new.

please don't let me go. i desperately need You.

(lead)er

"the Lord leads with unfailing love and faithfulness all those who keep his covenant and obey his commands." psalm25:10

"the gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep recognize his voice and come to him. he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. after he has gathered his own flock, he walks ahead of them, and they follow him because they know his voice." john10.3-4

friends

"find a friend and stay close and with a melting heart
tell them whatever you're most ashamed of"-mewithoutYou: The Sun and the Moon

i can't tell you how amazing having deep relationships can be. friends that are there to share life with you, bare their souls with you and bear you up through whatever. this is the stuff legends. i hope that you can find these friends and i pray you keep them close. God will bless you through them.

here in your presence

1 samuel 5-6.

God moves against the philistines when the ark is captured and placed in their temple.

God sends tumors and rats on the towns that try to keep the ark.

God causes a statue of their god to break apart, simply because of his presence near it.

God directs cows to travel through the land of philistia and make its way to the israeli border

God wipes out seventy israelites because they make an attempt to look into the ark.

1 samuel 6.20: "'Who is able to stand in the presence of YHWH, this Holy God,' they cried out. 'Where can we send the ark from here?'"

(you placed the stars in the sky, and you taught the sun to rise. our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other. who am i that you are mindful of me? that you hear me, when i call?)