before the throne of God above.

allelujah, allelujah. praise the one, risen Son of God.

He is more than i know. He is more than i think i know. He is more than i need. He is exactly what i need.

Father, teach me more of who You are and what i am without You. captivate my heart.

here in your presence

1 samuel 5-6.

God moves against the philistines when the ark is captured and placed in their temple.

God sends tumors and rats on the towns that try to keep the ark.

God causes a statue of their god to break apart, simply because of his presence near it.

God directs cows to travel through the land of philistia and make its way to the israeli border

God wipes out seventy israelites because they make an attempt to look into the ark.

1 samuel 6.20: "'Who is able to stand in the presence of YHWH, this Holy God,' they cried out. 'Where can we send the ark from here?'"

(you placed the stars in the sky, and you taught the sun to rise. our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other. who am i that you are mindful of me? that you hear me, when i call?)

retreat

busyness seems to come so easily in my life. this year especially.

my time seems to be so easily occupied. this is not how a life is supposed to be lived. we were not made to function this way.

i was walking back to my room tonight and gazed up at the clouds and stars, wishing that i could fly and take a long break from the chaotic things in my life. just soar with angels, caught up in the praise of God.

God. i hate being busy. i hate that i take your gift of time and, more often than not, don't manage it well. i ask that you would give grace and mercy and perseverance. i don't want this to be a habit. teach me to live simply and to glorify you in all areas of my life; most of all my time.

"I sought the LORD and he answered me, and delivered me from all my fears...This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him...Oh taste and see that the Lord is good." (pieces of Psalm 119)

Perspective on sin

"YHWH is the God of life, the source of life, according to Genesis. That is the reason that all the words for 'sin' in the Hebrew Bible also refer, in one way or another, to behaviour which destroys or diminishes life. As the redeemer (the go'el of Job 19.6) YHWH is the one who protects, defends and restores life."

-timothy goringe "Harvest" (reading i have for homework)

God

ever faithful, ever true.

when all else fails, you remain.

great is thy faithfulness.

rock of ages, cleft for me.

God with us.

I AM.

faith. and a lack of hard times

this week i have been really struck with how tough things are right now. i've developed a habit this summer of reading the paper in the morning, a routine i'd have to say i enjoy quite a bit.

there has been a streak of negativity for the past couple of weeks, as one thing after another is catching the attention of newspaper reporters.

teachers who've been laid off aren't able to make things meet. their income was split in half when they received the pink slip and it has been a downward spiral since then. thousands upon thousands are in this situation, many having to stare bankruptcy and foreclosure in the face. it's a reality they never thought possible five, ten years ago.

a family and the community around them were floored this week when two little boys, 10 and 12, were killed. from all angles the police believe it to be a murder-suicide, or worse yet, a suicide pact. the boys had been active in school and were well liked. they were left at home for a few hours as the mom went to work. they were dead before she got there.

a man, his two year old daughter, and pregnant wife stopped me in a parking lot tonight. he had worked for general motors and was just laid off the week before. their life had been a tightrope of paycheck to paycheck living and now they were living out of a motel. yesterday they spent the last of their money on paying for their room and for food. they asked for anything that could help keep them afloat.

my point with each of these is not to make a sob story or put you in a depressed mood about the way things are. that's not what i'm getting at.

in each of these instances, in the newspaper articles for the first two, and lastly in the poor family, there was a faith. there was a hope, however small and dim. God was brought up in each circumstance and was attributed as the thing that was in control, and that He would still be trusted through it all.

that's what i'm getting at. i, and perhaps many around me, have lived a comfortable life. tragedies have been few and far between, nothing compared to the situations of these and many like them. i say that i have faith in God but i don't know if faced with tragedy like this, i would hold strong. hold strong to the truth of who God is: fully loving, eternally faithful and present, completely in control.

i read about all of this in His word, learn about it in the classes i take, but how can i know if it's taken root and changed my heart and head? i'm not inviting hard times, but i'm just saying sometimes comfort can be a bad thing, when we begin to get calloused and numb to what God has called us to: faith in Him with passion, through the blackest of storms or the quiet of summer evenings.

I'm amazed

God's love is amazing. I'm realizing more and more how different it is than any other kind of love in this world, and yet there is still so much more of it that I haven't even begun to see. He loves consistently, always pouring his affection and love on us. We are strange creatures to love too. We can be growing and changing in that love yet are so easily distracted from following him. We can trip up on little things or think we have a handle on our lives for a moment.
Yet God is still there for us, extending his hand to pull us close again. His love doesn't change from one moment to the next; it is just as strong, just as captivating, just as full as ever.
Your love is amazing, steady and unchanging.