running through my head

and i hope it doesn't stop. truth and my life right now.

thoughts

so i've been back on campus for about three weeks and i haven't been more excited those three weeks than i am right now.

friends have come back and i've seen growth in them that only God can be responsible for. a love for Him where there wasn't one before. outlooks that have shifted and focused. maturity that seems to have been gained. opportunities that have presented themselves. conversations that have gone deeper than before. each of these have brought me a deep joy to be around the people that i am. God is good.

i am also excited for the guys that will be living on my hall. i am in charge of all 24 of them; from being a rule enforcer to being their friend to (hopefully) spurring them on to a deeper love for Christ. i have just met them and each one seems to come from a different background, interested and plugged in to different things. i am counting on God's work to bring the hall together. nothing succeeds outside of his control.

inward glance

God, we need your strength to fight,

your light to guide us through the night.

You're our only chance.

Messiah. Messiah. Messiah. Save us.

i'm growing, but it's so hard to tell when i'm not used to this. take me as i am

love

i have heard the voice of God in the last couple of days, and he's talking about the same thing each time: love. just returning from biola's ra retreat, i am amazed at how simple/deep the love of God is, and i'm only scratching the surface. a lot of conversations and reading and praying and meetings were centered around the idea, none of which were connected together. here's a quote that explains how God's love is really and truly all we need.

"When you know yourself as fully loved, you will be able to give according to other's capacity to receive and you will be able to receive according to the other's capacity to give. You will be grateful for what is given to you without clinging to it, and joyful for what you can give without bragging about it. You will be a free person, free to love."- Henry Nouwen

"i've found a love, greater than life itself. i've found a hope, stronger, and nothing compares."

worship

here in your presence, we are undone.
here in your presence, Heaven and Earth become one.

Wonderful, beautiful, glorious, matchless in EVERY way.

-new life worship band

johnny craig

This guy has some serious vocal talent. He heads a band called Emarosa. Give them a listen and know that he sounds that good live. Me gusta

faith. and a lack of hard times

this week i have been really struck with how tough things are right now. i've developed a habit this summer of reading the paper in the morning, a routine i'd have to say i enjoy quite a bit.

there has been a streak of negativity for the past couple of weeks, as one thing after another is catching the attention of newspaper reporters.

teachers who've been laid off aren't able to make things meet. their income was split in half when they received the pink slip and it has been a downward spiral since then. thousands upon thousands are in this situation, many having to stare bankruptcy and foreclosure in the face. it's a reality they never thought possible five, ten years ago.

a family and the community around them were floored this week when two little boys, 10 and 12, were killed. from all angles the police believe it to be a murder-suicide, or worse yet, a suicide pact. the boys had been active in school and were well liked. they were left at home for a few hours as the mom went to work. they were dead before she got there.

a man, his two year old daughter, and pregnant wife stopped me in a parking lot tonight. he had worked for general motors and was just laid off the week before. their life had been a tightrope of paycheck to paycheck living and now they were living out of a motel. yesterday they spent the last of their money on paying for their room and for food. they asked for anything that could help keep them afloat.

my point with each of these is not to make a sob story or put you in a depressed mood about the way things are. that's not what i'm getting at.

in each of these instances, in the newspaper articles for the first two, and lastly in the poor family, there was a faith. there was a hope, however small and dim. God was brought up in each circumstance and was attributed as the thing that was in control, and that He would still be trusted through it all.

that's what i'm getting at. i, and perhaps many around me, have lived a comfortable life. tragedies have been few and far between, nothing compared to the situations of these and many like them. i say that i have faith in God but i don't know if faced with tragedy like this, i would hold strong. hold strong to the truth of who God is: fully loving, eternally faithful and present, completely in control.

i read about all of this in His word, learn about it in the classes i take, but how can i know if it's taken root and changed my heart and head? i'm not inviting hard times, but i'm just saying sometimes comfort can be a bad thing, when we begin to get calloused and numb to what God has called us to: faith in Him with passion, through the blackest of storms or the quiet of summer evenings.